26 January, The Founders of Citeaux: Genesis 12:1-4; Acts 4:32-35; Mark 10:17-30
The few historical sources describing the struggle to establish Citeaux tell us little of the subjective attitudes of Robert, Alberic or Stephan—very few medieval documents pay attention to such sentiments. I can easily imagine, though, there were days they wondered what they had gotten themselves into and days they were confident they had made the right choice. Probably, there were many days when they were too occupied even to think about it!
Whatever the case, I can draw some conclusions, albeit subjective conclusions, from their gamble.
My vocation is not about me. Although I choose it, and must choose it, my vocation is also given to me. Like any gift, I do not determine what it is; if I don’t take it as it is, I am rejecting it.
As a gift from God, I can trust that my vocation is what I need, is tailor-made. And I am capable of it, whether that means discovering unexpected strengths or failing honestly. I may have to wrestle with that fact to accept it, but it is precisely the agenda I was made to handle, even if it does not conform to my taste or satisfaction.
As a gift from God specifically provided for me, I can never afford to forget that God is the main actor. God must work through me but I have to let go and not get in God’s way. I must employ my God-given gifts but never let them replace God or my attention to God’s engagement.
Vocation is also a gift to my brothers, and I cannot operate independently of them or fail to search for God’s footprints through their lives, whether I like it or not.
Perhaps I will never guess the outcome of God’s intention for such a gift, or see the completed picture, but I can never give up hope or allow myself to doubt that God works through us and the circumstances in which we live.
Then, might not what we live together become the gift to all that God intended us to be, for as long as God needs it?