There are some things about which we are uncertain whether God wills them or not, so we must not really want them or deeply reject them. … it is certainly here in the middle that the whole danger lies … we seduce ourselves by faithless flattering and coaxing in order to pretend that we are seeking the Lord’s will while also doing our own will, and we also make ignorance another excuse. …
Truly in those matters about which we can find nothing certain, let our will set no certain limits. Let us weigh each option, or at least let our will not cling firmly to either side. Let us always consider that perhaps the other way pleases God more, so we may be prepared to follow his will to whichever side we find virtues to be inclined.
Let no one hesitate over things that are certain. Let no one admit doubtful things as though certain. … Even those things that seem like accidents to us, are they not indeed a lesson from God, indicating his will to us? Yet whoever keep their hearts open when choices are not clear, to whichever side they are later turned, cannot stumble in the end. …
Furthermore, when I say that we must either keep our will in suspense or subject it to the divine will, I am not speaking simply about the instinctive tendencies of our desires or the ups and downs of our sensibilities. For that is impossible while the soul is held in this body of sin, in this body of death. For would it not be eternal life itself to follow the divine will in all things with the whole of one’s feelings? But it is necessary to subject our consent to the divine will if we desire to have peace in this life, just as Scripture has it: My peace I give to you, peace I leave with you (Jn 14:27).”
Bernard of Clairvaux, Monastic Sermons, Sermon 26: “How One’s Will Ought to Be Subject to God’s Will” v. 1-(CF 68, pages 147-150)